Hi, I'm Greta, the Nye School Rottweiler. I have the super important job of fending off the occasional mountain lion who foolishly ventures into our schoolyard - definitely a concern for our cats and the kids in the school. The little guys in particular worry about becoming mountain lion snacks. As if it isn't bad enough to have to worry about the wind! In Nye, the wind is so bad that it's just lucky we have a barbed wire fence all around the school to catch the kindergarteners and the cats when they blow away! We're always having to peel those little buggers off the fence after a particularly hard wind. But that's another story. . . .
As I was saying, I'm the head Mountain Lion patroller at the school. I go out every recess with the kids, and if I have a little fun stealing their balls during games, well, that's one of the perks of the job! They should be grateful! Those mountain lions would steal a lot more than their footballs! (Like, maybe their legs!) After recess is over, I hang out in the school. I'm very useful. During reading time, I provide a great pillow for two or three kids to rest on. I'm very soft.
I also listen to the children read aloud to me. They're making great progress, I'm happy to say. I'm particularly fond of the Carl books. Carl's a pretty handsome fellow, I must say. Wonder if he has a fan club?
I am also a great recycler of lunches. Some people might call it begging, but I consider it as a garbage disposal service. I'm just helping the kids out. They can't have their cookies until they've eaten their sandwiches, so I'm always available to help out. After all, who am I to stand in the way of a kid and his cookie?
Another little perk of my job is barking at the UPS guy, the Schwan man (ice cream), and the fellow who delivers the milk each Tuesday. Of course I wouldn't REALLY hurt them, but a Rottweiler's got a certain image to hold up, if you know what I mean. You wouldn't believe how fast the furnace man could race back to his truck when I merely trotted up to him one day! Some people are so nervous.
Of course, I don't do this job alone. My cat friends Figaro and Oreo also hang out at school. Their main job is to catch mice, and I've got to hand it to them, they do a pretty decent job of it. Since I have no puppies of my own (spayed, you know), I raised both cats myself, and taught them well in the ways of the world. Fig can spot a mouse at 500 feet, and can have it skinned, filleted, and barbequed before the little rodent even knows what hit him. All this despite having no front claws, and only half a tail, due to an unfortunate incident with a nasty window.
Well, there's one of those pesky mountain lions on the playground, swinging on the swings like they love to do - better go get him! HA - MADE YA LOOK!!!! BYE!
GRETA PETERSON ROTTWEILER